


the only good cop...

by notquiteaghost



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU
Genre: Canon What Canon, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Gen, Notfic, Police Officer Dick Grayson, reinterpretation of the police officer dick grayson trope where we acknowledge all cops are bastards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27375691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notquiteaghost/pseuds/notquiteaghost
Summary: ...is not Dick Grayson, because there's no such thing as a good cop.a not!fic about how it's a disservice to dick's character to act like he would believe in anything less than full police abolition
Relationships: Dick Grayson & the Batfam
Comments: 13
Kudos: 113





	the only good cop...

**Author's Note:**

> **this is notfic** , meaning this is just a lot of bullet points. i have several gremlins living in my brain and cannot put in the time & effort a fic like this needs; you are absolutely welcome and in fact encouraged to use this as a jumping-off point for your own fic (please link me)
> 
> general warning for vague discussion of your typical police shit, and specific mentions of nazis (that jason beats up)

  * dick realises Something Is Going Down in the bludhaven police, but when he asks jim for advice on handling it jim just stares into the middle distance and laughs hollowly because arrest?? cops??? get cops fired???? in this country???!?


    * (i am not going to actually say what crime exactly is being committed) (the police do so much fucked up shit. take your pick) (but it’s bad enough for dick to want to devote all his time to investigating and complicated enough to need an extensive investigation)


  * but dick grayson has never taken ‘no’ for an answer in his life, as is his right as the firstborn of Gotham’s Most Stubborn Man


  * so dick is like. okay. how do i build an absolutely airtight case. how do i make absolutely certain once i get these fuckers in a courtroom they will not wriggle out. how do i get admissible evidence when all evidence is handled by. the criminals.


  * oh shit fucking dammit i have to go undercover don’t i


  * (and also find lawyers and a judge and etc) (but for the sake of a workable story we’ll say gotham has people in the justice system happy to prosecute cops) (and obviously they are well acquainted with the bats) (gotham: the only city in america where sometimes cops do experience consequences) (hence why this particular crime is in bludhaven)


  * so then. Dick Joins The Police.


  * he does NOT use his real name


    * Richard Grayson Eldest Son Of Bruce Wayne has, perhaps, on occasion, said some things, in some public forums, about cops. and how they were useless when his parents were killed and useless when his brother was killed and actively harmful in almost every other situation.


    * “And,” Dick says, ‘NO SUCH THING AS A GOOD COP’ placard resting on one shoulder as he turns to stare directly into the camera of whichever news station this reporter works for, “A man feeling he needs to dress up as a bat and take matters into his own hands is by itself pretty damning, don’t you think?”


    * “Well,” the reporter tries to interject, “Doesn’t Batman try to work with the police—“


    * “No, I think mostly he works around them,” Dick says, shortly. “I think cops are trained to see everyone as a threat and escalate every situation accordingly, and Batman never throws the first punch. I think Batman walks assault survivors home to make sure they’re safe, and I know for a fact there are unprocessed rape kits sitting in Gotham police stations right this moment. I think Commissioner Gordon is doing his best, and I admire that, but people in this city become cops because you get better benefits than if you run drugs for the Penguin.”


    * “Right,” the reporter says, knowing her boss won’t want to run that speech but she can see at least four people filming on their phones, so this isn’t really a salvageable situation.


  * and the thing, about commissioner gordon, is he has been trying for years now to make sure ‘good’ cops stick around and bigots get the boot, but unfortunately while it’s relatively easy to believe you can do good as a cop during your first couple years on the force, with every passing year the chance of you changing your mind increases exponentially


  * everyone who starts off a ‘good’ cop either quits to do something else or becomes bitter and angry and tired, and if jim fired everyone who became bitter and angry and tired he would have three cops left


  * on one hand: gotham has a decent number of nonprofits doing some actual good work. on the other: jim gordon is one very bad day from shooting someone and at this point running almost entirely on sunk cost fallacy and spite


  * And Bludhaven Is Worse


  * so. dick joins the police!


    * he tells bruce what he’s doing, because he’ll have less time for patrol & also he’s still holding out hope if he’s forthcoming with pertinent information then maybe one day bruce will also sometimes tell him things too


    * and he tells barbara, because who better to help you covertly get people to confess their crimes on record than oracle, & also if he doesn’t tell her she’ll find out anyway but assume he’s had some kind of mental break


    * and, if he doesn’t have someone to vent to about the process of becoming a cop and all the many many problems it has, he will quit and then commit arson, and barbara has many years experience being a sympathetic ear to this kind of venting


  * but. he… maybe forgets to tell anyone else


  * he assumes, naively, that barbara and bruce will tell everyone else. barbara and bruce assume, smartly, that telling Certain Other People isn’t really a good idea, in this family of nosy overprotective meddlers


  * this means tim drops by dick’s bludhaven apartment one morning, and dick is eating breakfast fully in a cop uniform. and tim jumps straight to ‘i have fallen into another universe’ because a) that Does happen and b) tim drake can be a little dissociative, as a treat


    * (anything unexpected: happens


    * timothy drake: is this fake? is this not real? is anything real? am i real?


    * everyone else: tim are you _sure_ you shouldn’t be in therapy


    * tim: oh look at that i have somewhere else to be suddenly)


  * “What the fuck,” Tim says, frozen just inside the doorway. “I— Did I dimension hop in my _sleep_?”


  * “No, Tim,” Dick says, already mentally drafting the text he’s going to send to Conner about Tim’s mental health, “I’m undercover. For a case? I thought Bruce would’ve mentioned it, I’m sorry.”


  * Tim stares at him, not looking any less baffled. “You? _You_ , undercover, as a _cop_? Y _ou_???” Then he blinks, visibly forces himself to stop dissociating, and says, “Okay. How can I help?”


  * it also means jason, out walking one evening in bludhaven, minding his business, not even on his way to do a crime, sees dick grayson — who once got suspended when a teacher suggested, seeing as he’s so passionate about justice, he join the police when he’s older, and he only didn’t punch them in the face because he punched the wall right next to their face instead — wearing a badge and chastising some kid, and jason. does punch dick in the face!


  * “A _cop_?!” Jason yells, as Dick holds a hand to his face to see if his nose is bleeding. “What the fuck, Dick! What the _fuck_!!!”


  * He has a lot more to say, but Dick does Bruce’s ‘wait’ gesture that’s still so ingrained Jason shuts up on autopilot, and Dick says, “I am _undercover_ , dipshit, do you have that little faith in me.”


  * “Oh,” Jason says, anger vanishing as quick as it had come. “Okay. Uh, need a hand?”


  * and to both questions, dick takes a deep breath and then says, in a rush, “Yes, God, I have so many names. At least one guy’s on the take, four guys are abusing their spouses, there’s a good three years worth of rape kits just sitting unprocessed in the precinct, I’m reasonably sure two other guys are where all that molly cut with fucking rat poison came from—“


  * because the problem is, dick is undercover for a reason. he needs to gain these shitheads’ trust, so they have to think he’s just as much of a shithead, so he can’t do anything about all the many, many fucked up things they’re doing, and only some of them are the thing he’s there to investigate


  * he’s been passing information to barbara, of course, but she’s only one woman, and she hasn’t cleared her schedule to deal with this


  * but, once tim and jason know, everyone else also knows


  * and, who’d’ve thunk it, dick passing on intel on the bonus crimes he keeps acquiring evidence of does a lot to soothe the nosy overprotective meddling tendencies of his family


  * it also soothes dick’s need to right every wrong he crosses paths with


  * and now dick can, at the end of the day, open up the family group chat and vent to everyone at once


    * dick: AND HE JUST FUCKING WENT OUT AND ARRESTED WHO IM PRETTY SURE IS THE FIRST BLACK KID HE SAW FOR POSSESSION BC HIS SHIFT ENDED IN 20 MINS AND HE WANTED OVERTIME. THIS KID DID NOT HAVE ANY WEED. THIS KID WAS GOING TO BUY MILK. THIS IS THE 4TH FUCKING TIME THIS SHITBAG HAS DONE THIS. I AM GOING TO PUT HIM IN THE FUCKING HOSPITAL.


    * (several people are typing)


    * steph, jason, and tim, all near simultaneously and with only minimal differences in wording: dick i love you but maybe you of all people shouldn’t be on this case


    * dick: oh im sorry are you volunteering


    * dick: at least three of my fellow beat cops are nazis. nazis! what do i even do about that! i think the fucking sergeant is also! a nazi!!!


    * everyone, remembering how being constitutionally unable to sit idle when you could be helping or to tolerate any kind of injustice are fundamental parts of being a vigilante: ......  



    * jason: What you can do about the nazis is give me their addresses


    * dick: two of them have kids


    * jason: Right, because nazis make fantastic parents


    * dick: yeah okay sure ill send you their addresses please make sure this isnt traceable to me and also do your research first the consequences of your actions are entirely on you i am going to scream into a pillow


    * steph: here (link to a playlist of cat videos)


    * cass: (link to a different playlist of cat videos)


    * damian: (link to a folder of videos of titus and alfred the cat)


    * dick: i love you you are the only good things in the entire world


    * tim: ok close the messaging app now ur starting to sound a bit too much like B


  * bruce isn’t in the group chat


  * bruce loves his children very much, but he already has a phone for wayne industries and a phone for the justice league _and_ a phone number to give out to civilians, he isn’t getting yet another phone just so they can send him memes when they already walk into his office and/or the cave to show him memes in person


  * (jason briefly tried to argue this was discriminatory against people who didn’t live in the manor) (bruce just pointed out jason was welcome to move into the manor that very evening, if he was free) (jason made several aggreived noises and left)  



  * similarly, when dick wants to yell at bruce specifically, he just walks into whatever room bruce is in and starts yelling. he’s been doing this longer than smartphones have existed


  * he’s at the manor once a week, also, for family dinner, so he has ample opportunity


  * dick tries to make family dinner at least once a week even when he isn’t subjecting himself to the bludhaven police force, because he loves his family and he loves alfred’s cooking and if he goes more than two weeks in a row without showing up alfred sends him texts like ‘It would be nice to see you sometime soon, Master Dick. I do worry.’


  * now, though, if dick misses family dinner, he walks out the police station the next day to see a nondescript black car he nonetheless immediately recognises waiting pointedly, alfred in the front seat with a ‘If You Do Anything Except Get In Immediately There Will Be Consequences’ look on his face


  * and, to be clear, dick is still going out as nightwing, because if nightwing just vanished completely for an extended period of time a _lot_ of people would assume he’s dead


  * he goes out a lot less, and most people notice that, but generally when a bat scales back their patrolling without having been injured it means they are Up To Something, and the added level of anxious paranoia isn’t the worst consequence there could be  



  * dick does a lot of the investigating he’d be doing as nightwing as a cop, as well, so it also looks like nightwing’s just as good while doing a quarter of the work, which briefly restarts the rumours that the bats aren’t actually human, and that no matter where you are in bludhaven nightwing can hear you. this is also pretty useful.


  * the case itself, in the end, takes several months


  * during these months enough police officers are outed as being some brand of violent extremist and/or abuser some people do start to notice


  * because the bats aren’t idiots, though, it’s not only bludhaven police officers. or even just bludhaven and gotham police officers


  * a side effect of cops who were fired in one city just moving to another city and starting over is they make a nice little domino chain of snitches, if you can get them to talk, and barbara and jason can be _very_ persuasive


  * dick quits literally the second they have all the evidence they need


  * and then goes on a vacation, at the insistence of Literally Everyone. he visits wally and spends two weeks doing normal people adrenaline junkie things and backseat driving everything the flash does, and only demands wally run him back to gotham Right Now to check up on his family twice


  * the cops, also, get charged, and sentenced, and fired! and imprisoned!


  * (prisons are bad but if anyone deserves to be in them it’s cops. what goes around comes around.)


  * and, after the trial is over, and dick’s gone back to his regular nightwing beat, and now has a much deeper appreciation for just how bad the police are, one afternoon he walks into the manor kitchen where bruce and alfred are sitting, reading in comfortable silence, and says, “y’know what? fuck it. full police abolition, let’s go”


  * because, actually, what’s the point in being adopted by one of the richest men in gotham if you can’t use that money to completely abolish the goddamn police. fuck reform, fuck the slow march of progress, dick wants the cops out his city and he wants them out yesterday


  * (he did run this by the gordons) (jim almost tried to argue until barbara pointed out he could _retire_ , and retire in good conscience to boot) (Jim Is So Tired)  



  * obviously, bruce has met his son before, so he just pulls up the plan he’s been working on in his downtime since dick first mentioned joining the force


  * there’s been several points in his life where bruce almost said Fuck It I Am Throwing The Cops Out My City, but until recently this was very much a controversial idea. now, he’s pretty sure he could get support from more than just the most radical leftists, and also once dick decides he’s going to do something it generally happens


  * so then they abolish the police in gotham. it takes a couple years but they fucking do it. no more cops! no more cops, the end.



**Author's Note:**

> i am [here](http://notquiteaghost.tumblr.com) on tumblr, and i yell frequently about how superheroes being or co-operating with cops is nonsensical at best and malicious at worst because the entire point of a superhero is direct action taken to a fantastical level and cops are not direct action cops are the system you take action against
> 
> [here](https://embod1ment.tumblr.com/post/171769425894/nah-dude-some-police-are-genuinely-trying-to-make), also, is a good breakdown of why cops are bad and we do not need them, just in case u got to the end of this fic not convinced on that
> 
> hope you're surviving, hope the universe is being kind to you ♡


End file.
